Semi-Live Completely-Drunk Blogging of the President’s Address

just got back from the mini-mart with fresh beer

ummm, beeer.

I was going to post my “live: stream of conscientious” notes from the President’s State of the Union Address, raw and uncut, no spell checker or anything, but I’ve decided to add some glossing to the mix. It’s still mostly the raw feed, no corrections to the obvious typos.

Here’s how it was done: I dined on red meat, butter, garlic, onions, okra, pork fat, beans, and potatoes, knocked down a (large) bottle of wine and a couple of beers and was in place in front of the old but trusty 486SX100 box for some off-line live bloggin’ of the speech by ten to nine. I actually left work right at 5:00 PM to make sure I was good and (at least half) baked by speech-time. You see what I do for you people? The sacrifice......

First observation: live blogging is hard, ‘specially if you don’t type so fast in the first place. Being semi-siht-faced doesn’t help as much as I thought it would.

Over-all, I thought it was a good speech. I only screamed at the President twice during the speech (a personal record for non-screaming): once during the social security portion, when it was sounding like us early forty-somethings are going to get “optioned-off” in the whole SS reform deal. I’ll reserve judgment until I can see the entire plan. The second time I shouted harsh words at the President on the radio was over the DoMA bull-siht: “...will support a Constitutional amendment...blah blah blah...in support of marriage...blah blah blah”. Leave my Constitution alone, dammit! (Didn't I blog on this before?) I thought so.

Only screamed twice. Contrast that with the collected State of the Union addresses from, say, January 1993 through January 2000 where I screamed myself hoarse during each and couldn’t talk for two weeks hence.

Early on, I almost got up and tried to adjust the rabbit ears on the TV just so I could see john f’n kerry’s long sad face as he was paraded in, but decided that it was just “better” to hear the radio commentators commentate on his “long look”. I haven’t turned on a TV since Election Night (We Won! You Lost!) but I thought that this particular State of the Union address was view-worthy. Fortunately, I almost spilt my beer and decided that for the Sake of The Children™ I should just stay seated for the duration of the address.

Listening to such things on the radio lends a certain perspective, I think. The commentators’ observation of the President’s red tie prompted a large “hoo-ra” to the audience of none in my small but tiny apartment. Red tie. Righteous, brother. Say what you will about GWB (actually: STFU); he knows what side of his bread is buttered and how to pay homage to same. Surely I’m not the only one who sees the obvious “smack-down” in the red tie.

My “live blogging” notes follow, with minimal post-speech commentary, not spell-checked and all that crap, replete with notage assuaged by the addition of yet even more alcohol. Maybe later I'll go back and finish glossing the notes, but it's getting too late to do a proper job tonight.

******

I sincerely hope that at the mention of a “free and sovereign Iraq”, michael moore pissed himself. Fcukin’ wanker, that michael moore

“healthy, growing economy / confident and strong” Right. I’ve personally been called back for second interviews 3 times in the past week alone. Things are looking up here around casa de Heywood.

“purchased by our parent’s sacrifice” greatest generation stuff, and rightly so, Talk about paying homage.....

“build a better world for our children” You got my vote, Dubya

more economy stuff, good should have said “overcome clinton’s economy” 2.3 million new jobs in the past year, that’s a net gain since the third quarter of 2001 (surely you remember what happened in the third quarter of 2001?)

restrain government spending, good.....government growth kept below inflation....deficit in half by the first year of Condi’s first term 2009 (sorry, dint mean to spill the beans).....tax cut permanent, very good.....public money to be spent “wisely or not at all” noble, but will they deliver?

small business with a slap at tort reform

smack down of frivolous class action and asbestos claims

health care more affordable blah blah blah tax credits blah small business blah expanded medical savings accounts blah liability reform (cheer)

energy, conservation, production at home, nucular energy, clean coal, ethanol, renewable blah blah blah

more secure and less dependent on foreign energy (cheer)

top to bottom tax code review.....bi=partisdan.....fair to all

immigration system outdated....guest workers.....tie-in with drug war / terrorism

here it comes SS reform
honor it’s purpose in this new century
current path to bankruptcy / save SS

I just screamed at the President, not in a good way

better now

he’s going the math 2 workers per beneficiary

13 years from now, ss into deficit spending
2033 $300billion shortfall

jackasses are booing. wankers

throw down gauntlet to congress “should not be a small matter”
must pass reforms....once and for all

cited clinton

more important than partisan politics

will listen to anyone with a good idea

permanently sound
no payroll tax increase
gradual change

personal retirement accounts (cheer)

pass on to children
money is yours and govt can never take it away
4% over time (ultimate goal)
extend the same that govt workers have to younbg ‘Mericans

govt shouldn’t undermine values
constitutional amend ment for marriage piss off

I just screamed at the President again don’r fuck with my Constitutioin

bashing stem cell research.....cloning bans.....”bought or sold as a commody”

ambitious reseearch

“not legislate from the bench”

nominatioins
throw down to the senate every deserves up or down vote

faith based blah blah blah young inner city people....cities....respencts women and rejects violence

gang life parents and pastors laura bush to champion the issue

aids yawn ryan white act yawn clinton rehash

dna evidence wtf? not federal perview

competent lawyaers yawn

safe fro danger, protected by peace
unprecidented actions
first responders

we thank them all

here we go the enemy abroad

yeahm removed as in dead rightoeus

continue offencive untill the fight is won

ab-so-fucking-lutely

time of war

tools for victory

colations that will defeat the dangers of our time

recruiting grounds for terror

force of human freedom (i’m actually crying now) fuckin-a-right Dubya

ending tyrany in our world

no right, desire, or intention to impose
free and independant nations
advance of freedom will lead to peace

landmark events in the history of liberty / add to that story

Condi’s going to the west bank

$350million for the displaced arabs wtf?

egypt? leading toward democracy? I need to read up

syria called on the carpet....end all support otterror and open the door of freedom

here we go Iran

primary sponsor of terros
no nukular activity
‘Merica stands with you

fight them there instead of at home good

we will succeed
iraqi elections proof

we all came out and voted together
civic responsibility / earned the respect of us all fuckin-a-right

sofia’s story (big cheers) (more big cheers)

terrorists violently opposed to democracy
destroy the hopes of iraqi’s / will of the iraqi people

we will succeed in iraq

preparation of iraqi forces / increasingly in a supporting role
“tell america not ot abandon us”

“safer for generations to come”

no artificial timetable / iraq able to defend itself / return home with the honor they have earned

“risks on my orders” / “every American proud”

“volunteeers of our military” good help them recover good

farewell to very good men and women
Byron Norwood USMC
“now it is my turn to protect you” jeasus foucking chriust
semper fi, muthre focker
one shouldn’t cry whilst live blogging
keeop cheering more second wave cheerinfg

biggest dreams are born

only a dream untill....

forward with confidence

it leads to freedom fcukin’-a-right, bro
___________

all done now, going to go get more beer